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Turf: West Side St. Paul
Age: Old.
Work/School: University of Minnesota
Lovelife: Happily taken.
Strengths: Procrastination, cleaning, computers, sleeping.
Weaknesses: Good food, womens, nice cars, Thorton, and laughter.
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Hello. Welcome to douggoonDOTcom. All about Doug Goon. This site is pretty worthless, not going to lie. Hopefully you will get at least something from this site and if not, I apologize for wasting valueble time out of your day. To start out, Doug Goon is just
a simple man, with simple needs. Doug Goon was a very eligible and disease free bachelor, and now he is simply disease free. Doug Goon has a wonderful family that he is truly greatful for. Last but not least, Doug Goon has friends that he cherishes
for every single detail and flaw that they have which sounds cliche, but in fact is the truth. But enough about Doug Goon, lets talk a bit about me.
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6.16.06 -- 11:42 a.m. -- Magnificence. Where to start? We are well into summer now and the sweltering heat is
definately starting to open up my pores for massive dispersion of sweaty goodness. With the house empty now, I take full advantage
of the free heat during the day and the free AC during the evenings -- end result, Xcel Energy -- 0, DG -- 1. pow!
The hot weather has been scorching my poor grass as well, I almost just want to pay Jorje [our neighbor boy] to drench his Mom
[hose-style]
on my side of the fence rather than his. Speaking of little Jorje, since I've moved in to the house [02'], I have been
fortunate enough to watch him change from a little toddler into a truck beating, dog hosing, question asking, full blown
puta [the special name his mother calls him]. If it weren't for little Jorje, I wouldn't ponder questions such as "how come
there is hair under your arms?".
Alright enough dickin' around, let us get started. Starting with the weekend of Saturday the 3rd. Nathaniel, Sisters Cook and
I ventured our way to St. Croix for a day of ruckus down by the river. The drive wasn't too bad actually, only 40-50 minutes.
Nate's mom and stepdad have an awesome piece of property. The
pics really don't do justice for how nice it really is.
The day started off with swimming, rope swing, booze/sun, and diving board tricks. Follow that up with some Bocce [Nate and I
really dominated the entire game however, the girls were... how do I say... "a cheeeattttt", and they ended up taking
the dubya from right underneath us. See below:
Notice the precision and technique in the bocce throw [ultimately the reason why Nate and I weren't able to bring home the
win.]
Step one: Balance on one leg. Whlie you spend most of your life on two legs, with one leg raised you can ensure maximum
accuracy in your toss.
Step two: Put your hand on your hip: This toss is all about torque and rotation within the core. Once you have this, nothing
else matters.
Step three: Practice your throw at least once. On the bocce field, take your time. Get your form down first. Then do the duty.
Following these steps will assure you victory on both the Bocce field and in the game of life. Not to mention force people to
stand in awe of both your technique and talent [much like Diane is doing in the picture above.]
After the intense game of Bocce, we proceeded to engorge ourselves in corn on the cob, meat, potato salad, and strawberry
shortcake. Then some more night swimming, a little hot tubbing, and you can call it a day in Heaven.
Days later, it was Emily's long awaited 21st birthday. Starting the night off at Sally's, $2 burgers and some cocktails,
shortly followed by the Wild Onion. They have an oustanding Tuesday night birthday special, free Miller girl t-shirt, free
wings, and a bottomless mug for the entire night. I would describe all the fun details of this memorable night but this
picture pretty much sums it up.
The highlights of the evening:
Moving on. Last Friday, Nate, Sisters Cook, Rentals Cook, and I went out to dinner at the
Oceanaire. The food was simply amazing. I ordered the shrimp scampi with a
side of steamed potatos, Emily the crabcakes, and Nate the marlin. The dessert was f'n incredible as well, chocolate
turtle cake that was really like a 1/4 of a whole cake covered in hot caramel, mmmmm.
At this point, in time, I'd like to formally thank Dan and Doris Cook for two things. One, thier generosity. Thank you
very very much for dinner [it was incredibly delicious and my stomach was very pleased]. Two, your awesome Mom and Dad
personalities that we all know and love [so entertaining, so many random subjects discussed, absolutely fabulous]
Merci, gracias, xie xie, and danke.
Finishing up with last Saturday and some mathmatics. A-Z rentals + stump grinder + two manly men like roeber and I =
major asskickery in the landscape department. Let me tell you, if I hadn't made a man out of myself before, I definately
have now. After cutting down some trees, and demolishing some stumps, it back to the cities for me.
We left the Thorton, picked up Anthony, and headed down to Northfield, which really is quite the hike. We arrived at the
church with five minutes to spare and the wedding
ceremony was short and sweet.
Lisa sung two different songs, both beautifully -- who knew she was a vocal goddess?
Between the ceremony and the
reception we headed to a really awesome small town bar, the Rueb-N-Stein. Not only did they have the best
white cheddar cheese curds that have ever entered my mouth, but the small town classy-ness was off the scale [there was
a different wedding party there, in full dress, gettin' lit]. Bloody Marys and Long Island Teas later, I was feeling
ready to partay and we departed for the reception.
Sidenote: I even managed to capture a memento, and by I, I mean the ever so fabulous Emilyc.
The lowpoint of this whole shindig was definately our trip from the bar to the reception. I don't really need to say
anything else besides: lost, 45 minutes, full bladders, re-tracing steps, directions forgotten at Thorton, no one
answering thier phone, Cookie behind the wheel. Love you dearly cookie :).
The reception was a blast. Lots of pictures
were taken, food/booze consumed, and dancing gone done did. The Cook sisters were able to fill up their home candy dish
with a little procedure I like to call, Dump everyeones table chocolates into the purse. All in all a very
fun/memorable night.
Well ladies and gentlemen, this concludes our session, please pay the receptionist on your way out.
P.S. Cook sisters finally got cable. Lately, the levels of T.V. watched have been ridiculously high, it's almost sad.
P.P.S. Thanks to all of you who wrote a little sum sum on the ask page.
P.P.P.S. The little sister [squatter] finally graduated. The ceremony was good stuff. Party the 24th. Congrats squat.
And.... she just joined facebook.
FINALLY. People, pepper her with tasteless wall messages plzkthx.
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